Last Extra Credit

Once the home of a delicious meal, a lonely pizza box lies deserted on the bottom of my trashcan. After serving its sole purpose here, in this life, its final destination was reached when its contents were devoured.  The life of this box started long before as a juvenile sapling; its young roots exploring the nutritious soil beneath its early existence.  This very sapling expanded and grew into a mature tree, satisfying its role in the lush forest canopy. Years passed and its participation in the environment ended. The tree was harvested and sent to a nearby paper factory where a complex metamorphosis was initiated. The transformation from forest to cardboard ended this life, for the convenience of man.

Once it made its journey to the paper factory, it was cut, shaved, pounded into a rough cardboard.  Just when it thought the metamorphosis was complete, it once again entered the factory line and was hacked and stamped with red and black markings.  The creases were deep and easy to see so a human could easily fold and maneuver it into a desired shape.  As the freshly created box made its way to the loading dock and was packed into a cramped, dark truck, it made its way to the Domino’s located on Atherton Street in State College, PA. 

            All of a sudden the box was quickly grabbed and an oven hot slab was dropped harshly plopped down into it.  The toasty brown crust with red pepper flakes and other spices rubbed against the inside edges.  The grease slowly seeped out of the golden cheese and dripped slowly onto the box.  As the box turned a deep grey from the mix of liquids, it was packaged into a warmer and brought to a delivery car where it made its way down the winding streets of Penn State.  Up Atherton, Right on Curtin, past the Lion Shrine, there goes the Library, Forum zips by on the left, next up is the Berkey Creamery, and finally it turns left into Pennypacker Hall’s parking lot. 

            As I picked up my vibrating shiny royal blue cell phone, I jumped up from my bed in happiness as my dinner had finally arrived.  I ran to the elevator and after paying the correct amount of money, I devoured my pizza in my room.  The box was the least of my concern as I couldn’t eat the box and once all of the edible deliciousness had entered my stomach, I carelessly tossed the box to the wayside in the garbage can where it now laid all by its lonesome.  

Journal 13

Bad Paragraph:
The Villa Rotonda and many other works of Andrea Palladio had a look that was copied by architects after his time. Palladio was known as one of the originals of architecture. The Renaissance style of Villa Rotunda will be critiqued by another great architect: Francesco Borromini. Borromini was an innovatory of his time and brought new looks to the world of architecture. Will Borromini approve of the design of the Villa Rotonda?


Good Paragraph:
The Villa Rotunda and many other works of Andrea Palladio were some the most influential structures in the history of architecture. Palladio was known as one of the originals of architecture. Palladio published a book titled Quattro Libri Dell’ Architettura in 1570. Palladio shaped the architecture in the Renaissance with this book and his building designs. Less then a century later Francesco Borromini made a historical movement in architecture. Borromini created a new style of architect called baroque.  Baroque was an innovative new look at architecture. Borromini’s baroque broken and bent some of the traditional rules of architecture and took a more outgoing style. Will Borromini approve of the design of the Villa Rotonda?


Old thesis statement: 
on last post
New thesis statement:
The Villa Rotunda was one of the most copied buildings in history, but Borromini would have not approve of the design overall. Borromini probably took ideas from Palladio’s design, but Francesco was all about using classical design and improving it with new creative style.

Journal 12

Thesis Statement:
Borromini approves of how strong the structure looks, but would be bored with the Early Renaissance style.

Journal 11

Bad version  

The budget cuts will lead to a increase in tuition price. This raise will decrease the number of students going to Pennsylvania intuitions. Many families and students will need to rethink how they are going to pay for the new and higher tuition. Another problem is that Penn State will have to cut some programs, which will affect the Penn State community as a whole. Budget cuts will also lead to a possible closer of branch campuses. This will put Penn State in number of problems. Penn State will have to move students other campuses and this will make a housing problem. Also, the number of students that Penn State can accept will decrease. Loss of branches and cut of employees in every campus will make many people loose there jobs.

Good version

These budget cuts would lead to an increase in tuition price, which would decrease the number of students going to Pennsylvania state intuitions. This would leave many families and students reconsidering how they are going to pay for the new, higher tuition. Another problem is that Penn State would have to cut some programs, which would affect the Penn State community as a whole. Some of the many Penn State branch campuses could possibly close due to the cuts. This deficit alone would pose several problems for Penn State. The university would have to move students to other campuses, causing major housing problems. Naturally, this would decrease the number of new students that Penn State could accept. The loss of branch campuses would also cause many dedicated Penn State employees to lose their jobs. 

Journal 10

Jonathon Swift’s “A Modest Proposal”, a satirical proposal written in 1729, was aimed to poke fun at the British’s Rule in Ireland.  The whole basis of the proposal was to tell Irish parents that if they were able to fatten up their children, there could be a great economic and/or personal gain from selling and eating them.  Swift proposes that eating the children would allow the people of Ireland to have a good meal while they were experiencing the troubles of the Potato Famine.  If they didn’t need the babies for meals, they would be able to sell their children to less fortunate families so they could have some food.  Swift makes the proposal very realistic by going through mathematical calculations based on how much babies weight and how many women live in Ireland.  He goes into detail about how many babies could be eaten to keep the people happy while still keeping the population size stable.

The other aspect of this proposal is that the Irish were under intense British rule and subjected to horrible rules and regulations.  Ireland was experiencing many problems with crime and everyone was blaming the poor.  As the British imposed rules and Ireland struggled to stay alive, Swift was able to add a touch of humor to the common person’s life.  He provided an escape for the people when they couldn’t handle the pain of famine, crime, and unfair rule.    Satire was printed for the people to read and laugh about their misfortunes.  They were able to bond together and share in their pain together, knowing they weren’t alone.  Although a lot of people enjoyed the satire, it did turn others away.  The idea of eating babies as a means of staying alive can be disturbing to many people.  In times of desperation, babies and youth can be a symbol of hope for a new generation and finding solutions to national problems.  By writing that eating/selling your children to survive made some people turn away from Swift’s style while others embraced the humor and enjoyed reading his pieces as they came out.

State Patty's Day

This year was my first State Patty’s Day and I got really excited when I hear other students stories from the past years. Reading all newspaper about more cops from other towns are coming and that they are going to crack down harder made me feel worried. I felt worried because I did not want this great holiday to be destroyed and I was worried about getting caught. The Friday night before or State Patty’s Eve I saw so many kids coming from other schools to state college for this event that was created by students. Many of my friends asked to if they could stay in my dorm room for the weekend. I had two friends actually staying in my room for the event and I told them we are getting up at 7:30 to start getting ready to do down town. They said it would be no problem doing that. They did not think that after going out and staying up late on Friday night. In morning as I walk to get breakfast at the East Hall’s commons I see that there is no one outside or inside the commons. I get in line for a bagel with only three kids ahead of me. I turn around three minutes later and there is a mob of 50 kids wearing green behind me. I was amazed at how many people up as early as me. As I get closer and closer to downtown area there is more and more green. I walk in to my first party and I see a guy dressed as a leprechaun doing a keg stand. I go into the kitchen and I see five people having eggs and beer for breakfast and they called it kegs and eggs. As I am walking to Beaver Ave, I see a guy that is already wasted and two of his friends are holding him up and it is only 11 am at this point. I walked down Beaver Ave I saw all the apartments with balconies and everyone is yelling playfully at ocean of green of people on the sidewalks. I turn and see people yelling so I jog over a little to see what is going on. When I turn the corner a guy from a balcony is asking people if they want a beer. A person on the ground got selected to get a beer from the guy on the balcony, but they gave it to him by pouring it in to his mouth from the third story. Most of the beer was just poured on him, but it was a funny experience. I went to another party at night around 8 pm. When I got there they were all out of beer. They went through 9 kegs that day. Going home on the white loop bus there was a couple having sex in the back of the bus.  That was the craziest thing I saw all day besides when I got back to my friends dorm a kid was pass out naked in the shower so we woke him up. He turned out to be fine. I just think its cool that kids created a holiday and he spread so much in just a couple years.

Journal 8: Compare and Contrast

Soda Can- The size of a soda can makes it portable and easy to hold. The thin aluminum shell is prone to damage such as dens and cracks. Once one opens a soda can, it needs to be drank because a soda can can not be resealed and the soda will go flat. The taste from the aluminum can is not as refreshing as drinking out of glass. When disposing of the soda can in the trash or recycle is easy for a soda can because a soda can can be crush to a small size and take up less room in the trash.

Soda Bottle- The soda bottle looks more fancy and expensive so if someone is trying to impress another they should go with the bottle. The size of the bottle makes it a little less portable than the can. The soda bottle is made out of glass, which gives in a hard rigid shell to protect the soda. The problem of the bottle being glass is that glass can break with enough force and broken glass can be dangerous. If a weapon is needed, the soda bottle is a good choice. Most drinks taste better when they come out of a glass because glass doesn't add to the taste, it makes the soda taste like it is originally intended to.

Journal 7: Evaluation

I’m going to evaluate the movie Gran Torino which is an drama film directed by Clint Eastwood. The reason why I am evaluating this movie is that this film is very popular and it came out in 2008, which is pretty new. This movie nominated and won many awards. The list of criteria that I will use for a movie is actors, plot, themes, director and setting.  These five things are very important in a movie so if I take a part the film and determine the quality of the criteria I can show if this movie is good or bad.

First piece of the criteria for a movie is how good are the actors. Clint Eastwood was the one of the main characters and he could have not been any better. He was awarded for Best Actor from the National Board of Review. All the other main/supporting actors are played their role perfectly to fill the story of the movie.  The next piece of the criteria for a movie is the plot. In Gran Torino the plot is pretty complex, but can be broken down to an old racist war veteran makes new becomes like family with the next-door neighbor Asian family and helps protect them from the Asian gang. This plot is a very unique story is great because you will not find another movie like it. Another piece of criteria for a movie is the themes. This movie has many themes. There is a racist theme through out the whole movie. Another theme is that Clint Eastwood’s character was never close to his sons and he became very close with the Asian boy next-door and in the end he gives the his car the Gran Torino not to hic family but to his best friend from next-door. Also, there is a theme in the movie of life and death. The movie starts with his wife dies and throughout him and a priest argue and learn from each other about life and death. In the end of the movie, he is shot and killed by the gang. Another theme is culture because the first time Clint went over to a party next-door the rules and customs were very different.  All these themes were put in this movie in harmony, which made for a great film. Another piece of criteria for a movie is how well the film is directed. Gran Torino was directed by Clint Eastwood which should be enough said with awards he got for this movie. The last piece of criteria fro evaluating a movie is the setting. When I say setting a mean how the places matches the scenes and how realistic the movie looked. Gran Torino setting was in a town that more and more minorities were moving in which complemented the racist theme. Also, the simple looking house matched the Clint Eastwood’s character very well. Overall, the setting of this movie was very good. After looking at all the pieces of criteria for a movie, Gran Torino pasted all of them and can be named a great movie.

Journal Six: Investigating

One scene will be freshman drinking in the dorms. This is freshman male student living in east halls and I know that anytime there is loud music coming from his room on a weekend night they are starting to pregame. Right around 8:30-9 o’clock I go knock on the door with the music blasting and I am let in to the madness. I see the desk, that was used earlier as a place to study, is now taken over by shot glasses and chasers. All the people in the room greet me with a smile like they welcome everyone to come drink in the room. I am bombarded with all the choices that I have to drink. There is rum, vodka, and beer with every item being the cheapest brand one can get. This gathering in the room is call pre-gaming, which is when people start drinking before they go out.  I observe the room and see people drinking different amounts. There are the two guys that just keep pounding the shots of rum down because they just want to get wasted every night. Then there are guys that just want a little to have a social lubricate. There are also three girls in the room and the girls take turns on being the most sober one just to look out for the others. After a few drinks, the clock turns to 10, which means it is time to head to the bus stop to go down town to the parties.

This quote is from a freshman male student in east halls named Rami Jabari and he does not underage drink. “I am not bothered by other kids drinking, but I’m disappointed that they take advantage that they are in college so its okay that they can drink.”

This quote is from a freshman male student in east halls that does not want his name to be mentioned. “Drinking is ok if you are just responsible and don’t do anything stupid.  I feel that most kids here are good enough to drink, but there are one of 1000 kids that just stupid and mess things up and cause problems for others.”

This quote is from a freshman female student in east halls that does not want her name to be mentioned. “Drinking is fine as long as you can control yourself.  I know its bad its just everyone does is. We are in college that’s what we do. It just needs too be in moderation.”

“More than 90% of this alcohol is consumed in the form of binge drinks.” This is from http://www.cdc.gov/alcohol/fact-sheets/underage-drinking.htm and it is saying that 90% of underage drinking is binge drinking. Another facts is “72% of 12^th graders had tried alcohol.”

Graham Spanier gave a testimony, which I got from http://president.psu.edu/testimony/articles/underage.html. He stated, “Half of all of our students are heavy users of alcohol.” Another fact he claimed “More than half of students who use alcohol said they drink to get drunk.”

I feel I need to interview people with authority like a policeman, RA or Res Life faculty. This will give me another view that freshman might not see because their influences near them. I would get more facts and the actually problems drinking causes on an average night. I also should research more about the culture and tradition of drinking at Penn State. Because values of people that are for drinking may come from parents at home or just from the image that college is the only time the have to have fun and drink like this. 

Journal Four: #1 Party School

The writer clearly defines the many issues that come with the title the #1 Party School and the audience easily understands them. One issue that is brought up is all the trouble families and older people have to deal with on the weekends because all the drunk students cause many different problems.

Reasons are given for why the issue needs to be investigated. The reason for investigating the affects on all the none student residents is to see how much damage and noise is made by students on a average weekend night.

Facts and details are given to explain the affects on the different groups that are connected to the issue. Dealing with the issue of weekend night problems caused by drunk students they give many examples and facts. Students stole a stop sign, throw trash on the ground, and urinate in people’s yards.

I think in all the issues that are brought up both sides are represented with some type of fact or quote. The makers of the radio show talk to an actually resident and finds out the common problems like trash and urination on their property. The makers of the radio show also talk to the students that stole the stop sign and other students to get their side of the weekend life.

The makers of the radio show want the listeners to take a side of either the students or the residents by knowing both perspectives. I am more on the student’s side because the residents should know what happens in a college town. Also, the students take a stop sign is not normal. I feel that only happens in extreme cases. The only bad things that happen on normal bases are urination on properties, throwing of trash and loud noise making.

I liked the piece a lot because I can really relate to all the things that happen on weekend nights. Students starting songs on the buses, the random chants of “WE ARE PENN STATE” on every other street corner and the bad taste of Natural Lite, but I every one still drinks it. I liked all the facts that I did not know about Penn State for example, 70% of students drink on weekends, and students on average consume 4.5 drinks a night. I did not like some of the things that were stated against the student population. I feel that a lot of the stories that were told were mostly the extreme cases that happened over the years like a frat lighting furniture on fire and a deliver guy getting punched in the face. If you look at the big picture if one extreme thing happens once weekend because of one stupid student out of 40,000 students that are out that weekend it does not seem that bad. Drinking at Penn State is a tradition and a cultural thing that has been established the past a couple of decades. There is so much pride in football, drinking and being students at Penn State that every one that comes and visits they are just amazed. Tailgating and going to a Penn State football game is on the list of things people must do before they die. My grandfather and my Dad both went to Penn State and it is a great thing to have in common because we all take great pride in representing Penn State.

Journal Three: Shitty frist draft!

When I try to write papers or anything at all, just knowing where to start is the hardest thing for me. I attempt to write my first draft like if it was my final draft. I try to make the first draft perfect because I feel need to get it right the first time and to just be done with it. This is my problem through out my whole career of writing. I need to just go against my natural want and need to get things right the first time and just type away just start somewhere. If I follow the process of just writing anything down just to start the paper, I would be better off than my past ways of writing papers perfect the first time. Having a shitty first draft is fine according to this book by Anne Lamott. So for now on, I will use this process of writing shitty first drafts to maybe finish writing my paper faster because before I would waste my time staring at the computer screen trying to think of the perfect idea and trying to just know how to start. I like the way the author relates the first draft as a child. She said let your first draft should be like a child because you know no one is going to see it so you can let everything come out and let it go all over the place because you know you can fix it later.

If I would to grow up to be a professional writer, it would have to be either about sports or about food because those r the things I know best. The author of this book wrote food reviews for some California magazine. She would wait to one of the last days to start writing her work and if she could not think of something right away to put down on the paper, she would panic. I can relate to this because when I cannot think of how to start a paper I would go in to a downward spiral. When I can think of anything to write down I start thinking about how much time I am wasting and then all the consequences that will happen if I do not finish this paper. So basically things just get worse and worse as time goes on because I stop thinking of the task at hand and start thinking about everything else.

I can relate to the fact that people think professional writers just sit down and make perfect products right away because I use to think that professional authors did that. I even felt that most of my classmates wrote papers with ease. Writing is very hard for me due to the fact that it is so hard for me to get my ideas down on paper. After reading this chapter on shitty first drafts, I have learned that writing the first draft of a paper is not about the product it is about the process. This means the first draft can be bad because the first draft is about just getting started and getting the ideas down on paper so more ideas can flow in and complete the paper.

Journal Two: Memoir

An item becomes meaningful when a person puts sentimental value behind it. David Giffels gives and example of this in “Shirt-Worthy”.  In David’s case, when he was a kid, he felt that to wear rock and roll shirt you had the earn it. In order to have credibility, one had to experience the emotions and feel how epic a concert is. This story is relevant because his son wanted the same band shirt David wanted to earn, but his son just wanted the shirt because he liked it. David states the times have changed and kids these days will not struggle because things you use to have to earn now are easy to get. As a father you do not want your kids to struggle through life, but you kind of want them to because the struggles and how they over come the problems makes a person who they are.

The audiences that this story was made for are parents that can relate and young adults that can learn a lesson from this story. There maybe a couple points David is trying get across in this story. One point is things are worth a lot more when you earn them and put sentimental value behind it. Another, point of this story maybe that values have change from generation to generation and it might be hard to pass a parent’s values and morals to the children who are growing up in a different world.

The writer used rhetorical devices pretty well in this story. David described his feeling well enough that I can feel where he is coming from and understand his emotions. He explains the shirts meaning when he was a kid that I can see the reactions from other kids if he wore a Ramones shirt. The writer used the flashback in time to help explain the story well. Also, the transition from the past to the relevant event was great.  The writer showed pathos he each event in his story. In the flashback, he brought up forgotten feelings the he had as a kid. In the present event with his kid, he expressed regret for getting his child the shirt that he never earned. In the story, ethos is also shown when David explains his values behind a rock and roll shirt.

I would like to be able to explain the event my memoir with the same feeling to make the reader feel the same emotions as I did. I would like to incorporate the same hook in the introduction and have the just as smooth transition from different time periods in my memoir. 

journal one

Writing is definitely not my best skill, but I would consider myself average when it comes to writing. As a writer, I am good at organizing the paper in logical order because I am more of a logical thinker. Another strength that I have is being able to argue any side of debate by using the skilled called "BS"ing. A weakness I have is that I am a very bad speller. I also have poor researching skills, which are used for many types papers.

As a writer, I would like to improve on the effectiveness of my wording to get the point across more clearly. I need to practice on transitions and flow from idea to idea in my papers. I also need to develop a style of writing for myself so I stick out from everyone else’s work. To learn how to improve my writing I can read more books especially books with different styles so I can observe other writers methods of presenting their story. I can also just practice writing papers and have other people such as a professor to give me feed back on how to improve. In this course, I believe that I will learn numerous skills to improve my writing. I will study the rules of proper grammar. This course will challenge my skills in writing by making me write many different types of papers, which broadens my versatility. I anticipate that my Professor will help improve my weaknesses in my writing through in class practice.

The book Catcher in the Rye inspired me to be a better writer.http://www.catcherintherye.com/ This book style and story line inspired me to start writing my thoughts down in a journal. The author is J.D. Salinger wrote this book and it was put on the banned books list for some schools. This book helped me see different ways to think about many things in life. My philosophy for life is not based on the ideas in the Catcher in the Rye, but the way I think now has changed after reading this book. I believe writing has to do a lot with the way people think and this book has influenced my thinking process. Another item that change the way I view things is a couple of songs by the band Built to Spill. Their songs explain the views on different parts of life. One of their songs is called “Strange” and this song in one of my favorites of theirs. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRFOjLIl7G0 Another thing that inspired me to write better is the book titled The Things They Carry. This book did not change the way think, but it showed me a new way to present a story. In this book, a narrative story is told through a unique style that I really liked. I never read a book with a similar method of presenting a story. This book helped me to start to produce my own style of writing that is unique. In this course, I hope to find my style and become a better writer overall with improved skills and effectiveness.