Journal 11

Bad version  

The budget cuts will lead to a increase in tuition price. This raise will decrease the number of students going to Pennsylvania intuitions. Many families and students will need to rethink how they are going to pay for the new and higher tuition. Another problem is that Penn State will have to cut some programs, which will affect the Penn State community as a whole. Budget cuts will also lead to a possible closer of branch campuses. This will put Penn State in number of problems. Penn State will have to move students other campuses and this will make a housing problem. Also, the number of students that Penn State can accept will decrease. Loss of branches and cut of employees in every campus will make many people loose there jobs.

Good version

These budget cuts would lead to an increase in tuition price, which would decrease the number of students going to Pennsylvania state intuitions. This would leave many families and students reconsidering how they are going to pay for the new, higher tuition. Another problem is that Penn State would have to cut some programs, which would affect the Penn State community as a whole. Some of the many Penn State branch campuses could possibly close due to the cuts. This deficit alone would pose several problems for Penn State. The university would have to move students to other campuses, causing major housing problems. Naturally, this would decrease the number of new students that Penn State could accept. The loss of branch campuses would also cause many dedicated Penn State employees to lose their jobs.